School officials are often overwhelmed by a variety of issues, and look for prompt and efficient solutions to problems. Therefore, it is important for parents to have a clear idea of what issues need to be discussed and resolved before a phone call, or meeting. Parents may want to review school policies regarding their concern. Copies of these policies can be obtained on district websites, or by contacting the superintendent's office.
It is important to organize your thoughts and determine what details or concerns are most important. Make an outline, or simply write down some ideas on a sheet of paper to bring to a meeting. It may also be helpful to bring a friend or advocate for support, and who may have input on what issues should be discussed.

Be on time to all meetings. When parents are late, school officials may feel as if their concerns are not valid. Because school officials deal with a lot of concerns on a daily basis, if they appear too busy or rushed, parents should not become angry. This will only make the parent seem irrational. It is important to remain calm throughout the meeting, no matter how frustrated you may become. Parents should remain polite, but firm and direct in their approach to school officials.

Just as parents want their child to be viewed positively by the school, parents should make every attempt to build a working relationship with schools. For example, suggest a positive reinforcement model and deter a child's inappropriate behavior and focus on his/her strengths. Research programs that other schools and parents use that may relate to the child's situation. Parents should be self-confident without being adversarial.

Sometimes school officials and parents do not agree on what actions should be taken to support a student. Neither school officials or parents should go into a meeting with a confrontational attitude, but should be aware that disagreement may arise. Again, remaining confident and firm, yet calm and polite, will be most beneficial for the child. If the meeting is getting out of hand or the parent feels they need additional assistance, they may request to end and reconvene the meeting. Then the parent can collect his/her thoughts or pursue getting additional assistance from an advocacy organization. Parents should not feel pressured to sign anything unless they have reviewed and agree to the document's contents.

Listening can provide both information and deeper understanding of the issue from the point of view of the school. Parents should ask questions, and attempt to understand the issue from the school's point of view. A parent does not have to agree with what the school is saying. Parents may want to take notes at meetings with the school. This allows parents to review the meeting and document the progress. Tape recording is recommended for IEPs and all formal hearings.

It is always beneficial for parents and students to have the support of a friend, relative, or advocate during an IEP or formal hearing. They provide moral support for both the parent and child, as well as show support for the child. If the meeting becomes unplesant, the friend/relative/advocate can serve as a set of ears and may be able to have a calming effect on the situation.

Sometimes parents or schools get sidetracked by the numerous issues some children face. Parents should keep their notes in front of them in attempt to stay on task. Parents should not be afraid to be direct.

Even if a meeting is informal the parent should be fully prepared. The contents and actions of any meeting may have an effect on a larger, more important meeting down the road.

In expulsion hearings, the school is allowed to use anything a parent or child has said. Be aware that school liason officers are usually police officers, sometimes without a uniform. Children should know to ask for their parent or guardian before talking to anyone if s/he ever gets in trouble in school.

Send a memo of understanding for every action taken by the school. Parents should note when an action or issue is verbally agreed upon. It is essential to document all agreements/disagreements between the school, parent, and child.
Sample Memo of Understanding